I was pretty worried that the procedural aspects of my hematologist check-up this morning were going to invalidate months of trying to better myself and tarnish my motivation.
But, as an optimistic pessimist might say, my low expectations left me feeling pleasantly surprised. Even rather good about myself!
As I’ve said, toward the end of the summer I started going to the gym regularly. Two or three times a week for about an hour each.
I mainly wanted to feel better about myself. No real “goals” were set, it has been driven by an internal desire to look better in the mirror, feel better about myself… And hopefully not be as winded when I climb a large flight of stairs.
So far I’ve had decent results in the latter two departments, and even if I don’t personally see the difference my family has noted that I’m beginning to look a bit thinner.
In terms of tangible numbers, I haven’t been doing a lot to keep track. If anything I figured forcing myself to stand on a scale every week would just kill my motivation when the number moves incrementally.
Intrinsically I understand that weight loss takes time, of course.
I’m just worried that the raging, emotional segment of my lizard brain would see that result and get me to try quitting.
Thus today became the first real barometer of how I’m doing from a statistical standpoint. A month-and-a-half ago I was weighed at my annual physical and jotted down that I was about 207 lbs.
(A purely American metric that won’t help any of you off using that other, more ubiquitous system, but it makes the most sense to me.)
When I stepped on the scale at the start of my appointment this morning, fearful of anything above where my “starting point” was, I wound up (as previously mentioned) pleasantly surprised.
I was 204 lbs.
Now I don’t know if a net loss of three-ish pounds over a month+ is a good fraction or whatever. I ain’t a nutritionist after all.
All I know is the fact that I’ve been able to lose the weight I had through my exercising is a great sign that should help motivate me going forward. After all that loss comes without any significant change to my diet, which I know is equally important to being healthier and losing weight.
What can I say… I like cheeseburgers. Like a lot.
At least now I can confirm that I’m counterbalancing them if nothing else.
But wait, there’s more!
Honestly my morning was going to balance out that weight loss elation with the more dejected outlook brought on by finding out my last Sensation and Perception midterm went… Just okay. Normally not a problem except that my overall GPA dropped due to a lack of things in the grade-book.
But then the blood tests came back (since I was at the hematologist office), and we found out that my blood cell count is up right now!
I’m sure I’ve given this context before somewhere, but just in case anyone is unaware: I have ITP.
It’s a blood disorder with an insanely long actual name that basically means I have significantly a low blood platelet count. Around the 20s when an average range is in the mid-100s.
Ostensibly the disorder does nothing in my every day life. It just means I might have problems should something happen where I end up bleeding significantly.
When the diagnosis first came and I dealt with a rollercoaster of treatments that at one point landed me in the hospital (which was more than a year ago now crazily enough), I wasn’t very keen on talking about it.
But hey, it’s been more than a year and nothing significant has gone down. So I think I’m feeling way better about discussing the whole thing.
Long context aside, the lede I’ve been burying is that today my blood platelet count is up from about 24 the last time we checked to about 35 today.
It could just be a general fluctuation, but all progress in the positive is good progress I’d say!
Between that and my weight, this doctor’s appointment left me feeling pretty good about myself. From a physical standpoint especially.
Sure, those positive vibes led right into the mundane of going to Fullerton for one single class… But Thanksgiving Break technically starts tomorrow.
So who am I to complain?
Jason's Blog - Work in Progress 