I was going to write something silly about the rain today, full of all kinds of jokey jokes about Rihanna and burning train tracks.
But then I got home and found out my Grandma Rhea passed away unexpectedly this morning.
Needless to say that dampened the desire to write anything jokey or superfluous, even if what I had is mostly finished and waiting in my draft folder.
I thought really hard about not doing anything Blog-wise tonight out of fear that the social media machine would think I was cynically using the 85-year-old’s passing as some kind of grab for sympathy or attention.
But honestly, part of my intent when creating this blog in the first place was to keep milestones of my life marked down.
That means the good and the bad milestones. I feel like I owe it to my grandmother to at least say something about her tonight.
Unfortunately, I don’t think it can be anything too profound right now. I quite literally found out about a half hour ago and the wound is still much too fresh.
It’s hard to explain exactly how I feel. I need time to gestate on the thought with my family, and whether or not I mention the subject again in the future will really vary on how I collect those thoughts.
I would like to write a sweeter in memorial for her eventually, but I can’t promise it would be soon.
I can’t even promise I’ll write anything at all soon depending on how much of a funk I get into. But that said, I might shift tone completely and write about happy things, just because it’s a better distraction.
Even if I seem indifferent as a result, I can assure you I’m not. I’ll just need time, as I imagine we all do when confronted with something like this so suddenly.
I’m not out asking for sympathy, just understanding as I take the chance to sort this all out.
Good bye Grandma Rhea. I love you, and I wish I saw you more recently to tell you again.